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08 Nov 2014 18:19 #189 by jdavis
Replied by jdavis on topic introduction

Again im slow at responding I apologize.

But you're not alone in that your husband doesn't seem to be getting proper medical care at the VA.

And yes, many doctors are still of old school, cram pills down their throats and send them home, not even trying to address the problems or helping those who need help and badly.

I know this isn't much in the way of help, but if you attend a church, you might ask the pastor if they have or would help put together a small group of those who can and would talk to others.

You might also contact your Congressmans, local office and speak with the Veteran Liaison, give a brief explanation of the situation with the VA and see what he/she can do to assist.

I am sorry to hear he has Parkinson's, with this you might reach out to the Parkinson's association in your area, they provide a lot of information, and might also be able to provide guidance and assistance as well.

The one thing you can't expect is for your husband to open up and tell you things about his service. It would be nice I know, my dad would never tell us either, but there are things our servicemen and women did in their careers no one would ever want to hear and most likely could never understand. And with that being said they sometimes fear judgement which could and does happen and most times not by choice, just how we were raised.

Our Vietnam vets were never welcomed home, treated very poorly even by the average Joe who never served, called baby killers, spat on, in fights that never had to happen with locals, you name it...

But our Vietnam Veterans most certainly paved the way for all those who served after them and made things a hell of a lot easier than they were in the 70-80's.

Please feel free to contact me direct if you need me: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

All my best to you and your family!

Jim Davis
Founder & CEO
23 Oct 2014 12:39 #186 by G88Hall
Replied by G88Hall on topic introduction
Hi Jdavis, You are the first to reply. My husband is helpful to his parents, his friends and to the elderly. I am very proud of that, but when he comes home his attitude of resentment is taken out on me. He sees the VA clinics and hospitals, but they are not helping him...especially the psychologists. All the VA likes to give their patients are pills, not good advice, or how to handle the problems of everyday life. Now with what is happening in the USA, he now is watching more and more of the Vietnam stories, films, etc on TV. And when he listens to Foxnews, which tells the truth of the news, he gets upset. I try not to watch or listen to the news when he is not around. Back to my problem, I can't even talk to him about him helping me around the house. Like everything, including a house, it needs proper maintenance and changes from time to time. But when I say anything, he walks away, or has an excuse and leaves. He is denying his parkinsons the damage to his hip, leg, neck, shoulder (from an explosion/attack on the DMZ that a truck hood came crashing down on him) and other health problems, then complains to me about health problems. But he won't even listen to my advice, but excepts other peoples advice that was exactly what I had mentioned to him days, weeks, or months ago. I am frustrated. He doesn't even tell me what's happening....I listen to him talking to his friends on the telephone, that's the only way I know what is happening. (He is hard of hearing and talks very loudly) I need help.
Is this normal with vietnam veterans? And how can I work with his problems without being angry and upset myself.
22 Oct 2014 20:41 #185 by jdavis
Replied by jdavis on topic introduction
I'd been hoping someone would respond to you, but hopefully soon we will have more spouses come and join us...

We have tons of visitors all the time, just not many posting so far right now.


Jim Davis
Founder & CEO
02 Sep 2014 10:22 #183 by G88Hall
introduction was created by G88Hall
I am a spouse of a Vietnam veteran. We have been together since 2003, married in 2010.
I am looking for spouses that are unhappy with their veteran. I need help, we do not communicate, are very distant and all we do is argue over little shit and everything in general.
What we need is what Mark Langston is doing in Alaska. Ever heard of "THE NEXT BATTLE - WHEN OUR HEROES COME HOME" Well like everything in the VA, they care very little about the family situation. The spouses and veterans are not communication or loving each other, but growing faster apart. I am looking to resolve our problems, not create more.
Any ideas? Is there anywhere in Maryland that helps resolve the problems within the family?
Oh, my name is Gerry. I am not one to give up without a fight. But I do not fight with my spouse, been through that and do not like what happens.
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